Happy New Year, everyone (a little late)! My apologies for not writing anything, for some time now. The holidays consumed my life, from Thanksgiving, to a few days after New Year’s Day. However, I am trying to get back into the swing of things. I’ve bee dreading it, to be honest. However, I knew I had to buckle down, at some point, and get shit done… even if that shit is writing, which I was dreading the most. This is mostly because I’ve had writer’s block (not to be confused with Writrzblok, whom coincidentally, I’ve also had… giggity). But I digress… I’ve had a bunch of ideas running around in my head, but nothing that I could write about, at length. I’m not sure that I have that, today, but hey… I have to start somewhere, right? Here we go.
For first time readers, and people who may not know me well, in general, you should know that I am a Kevin Smith enthusiast. I’ve squeed each time that he’s favorited one of my tweets (which I have lost count of). I have an autographed photo of him displayed, proudly on my bedroom wall. Even though I was SO close to meeting him but didn’t get to meet him, I went to see him and Jason Mewes, live, on their tour for Jay & Silent Bob’s Super Groovy Cartoon Movie. I waited in that line for an hour, with my boot from my broken ankle, still on, to have the chance to get to talk to him. I had butterflies in my stomach, my palms were sweating, and my pulse was going at warp speed. I adore Kevin Smith. He is my geek god. And occasionally, when I’m on Facebook, I’ll end up seeing posts he’s made from his official page. I don’t usually comment, but a couple of weeks ago, something caught my eye.
He posted a picture of his fourteen-year-old daughter, Harley Quinn, who was wearing a not-too-short black skirt and kind of short black sweater (exposing only a tiny bit of her “midriff”), and both had Bart Simpson heads all over them. It was cheesy and tacky, but in a good way. He captioned it with, “My 14 yr old kid wearing what I assumed were pajamas out to dinner. I keep telling myself ‘Don’t have a cow, man…’” I laughed at the man’s topical humor. I commented that I was glad that she even knew who The Simpsons were. I also commented on what I want to talk about, today. This was the actual comment: “The fact that this exists, amuses me! I love it! Also, good for you, for not flipping your shit about it. Here, in the South, parents are so overprotective of their kids… especially daughters, and make them dress like the Amish. The top two reasons: 1. It’s immodest and 2. They think that they’ll get sexually assaulted. And instead of treating daughters like they do, so that they don’t GET sexually assaulted, maybe they should be spending more time with their sons, so that they are taught not to DO the sexual assaulting, and to have some self-control and respect. I think you are one of the coolest celebrity dads, ever! Kudos!” I didn’t get any replies, but that’s okay. I expressed what I wanted to say.
Of course, several of the comments were about how they couldn’t believe that Kevin let her dress that way. Some were about her dressing in a way that makes her susceptible to being raped. So, you can see why I would have the thought on my mind. Thankfully, it was on the mind of several others, too. Before I get to talking about that, much more, I’d like to say that there were a lot of positive comments, too, not addressing the matter of “promiscuity” and rape, and I want to share one of them, which is probably fairly accurate. I cleaned up the spelling and grammar, as it was truly atrocious: “She’s 14. You’re in L.A. Just be glad she doesn’t have a sex tape yet.” I’m not saying that every teen in Los Angeles does this, but oftentimes, if a kid has a famous parent, it doesn’t always go well for the kid. So yeah, that happened. Some took that comment, and turned into something it wasn’t, but I get it.
But back to the comments that concerned “promiscuity” and rape. Maybe I think differently than some people, but I don’t think that what a girl wears, is a problem, unless it violates a rule or a law, that has clearly been state, wherever she is. The way one dresses is an expression of who they are, what they want, how they feel, what they do, and usually, the weather. Oh and don’t forget culture and religion. Those are big key factors, usually. With the latter, I think it’s perfectly fine to dress the way your religion deems “fit,” if that’s how you feel. However, do not press it and try to force everyone to comply with your views of how one should dress, because of it. Then, there’s the idea that some girls “dress to get attention.” You know what? Yes, yes they do. Sometimes, we dress to be noticed, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Then, this starts dipping into the topic of rape, which has been the most infuriating and overused excuse ever. This is the notion that if a girl dresses “a certain way,” or, in other words, “promiscuously,” then she’s looking for attention, and then rape isn’t actually rape, because she was “asking for it.” This pisses me off to no end, because if she is saying, “no,” then she is clearly not “asking for it.” The way a female dresses, no matter how scantily, is not an invitation for anyone to take advantage of her and to have sex with her against her will. Just no. Even if she does initially flirt with said rapist, even, it’s still not an invitation for her to be violated. But that’s neither here, nor there. I may get onto the topic of rape culture and all my points against rape, in another article, but I’ll just stick to what I said, for now. If you want to hear me talk about rape culture, with my co-hosts, Gomer and Holly, we talk about it, a lot, on Gomer’s podcast, Constructive Deconstruction. I would, however, like to add this: Like I said in my comment to Kevin, instead of worrying about girls dressing in a way that makes them susceptible with rape, perhaps boys should have more time spent with them, being taught to respect girls, and to have the self-control to not rape girls. Yes, I know that rape is still going to happen, and that pisses me off, but if and when it does, another thing we can do is quit placing blame on the females getting raped, and excusing the boys who do it, saying “boys will be boys” and “it’s just their way.” That’s fucked up, and we all know it. Cut it the hell out, and quit being a part of the problem.
As for those who commented that they couldn’t believe that Kevin let Harley wear that, to begin with: grow up. I don’t know Kevin Smith, personally, but from what I do see of him, like every other fan, it doesn’t seem to me, that he’s doing a bad job, raising his daughter. Has she been on the news, even once, for being the way a lot of kids of actors, are? Nope. Does she appear to be a drug addict, an alcoholic, or anything else damaging? It doesn’t seem so. It appears that she is a normal teen, that has a famous at nd awesome dad, whom she loves, and whom loves her very much. I’d like to think that if she truly fucks up, Kevin would be a parent and discipline her, accordingly. Therefore, if she is “behaving,” which she seems to be doing (but isn’t really any of our business), then this simple damn outfit, that people seem to think is scandalous, is no big deal. I applaud Kevin for letting his daughter express herself, without flipping out. I think that’s dangerous… trying to shield your kids from all the things! This is why people like Sarah Palin, who taught her kids abstinence-only safe sex, ended up as a grandmother, at a young age. Plus, you can “protect” your kids all you want to. When they “leave the nest,” they’re still going to see how messy the world is, and also be open to options, finally, so they could go buck wild (as so many others do). I’m not a parent, myself, but I still feel like if you let your kids make their own choices (within reason) and mistakes, and punish them within reason, then they’d be a lot better off. Something tells me that this is what Kevin Smith does, which is great.