Alpine Skiing Slalom
Downhill skiing…now with gates! Seriously, there’s not much to say here because it is the downhill skiing mini-game with the added rule of needing to pass through the flagged gates [unless you want to be disqualified]. The only real difference between the Slalom and Downhill games in Nagano ‘98, besides the fact that it is supposedly [<—keyword] on a different mountain [Shiga Kogen this time], is that somehow the control got worse with this game, to the point where you need to hold down the control stick until you think that it will break off AND THE GAME STILL BARELY RESPONDS TO THIS. I can be holding the control stick down on my N64 controller and my player on-screen will slowly turn in the direction that I want them to go in. This happens for most of the game until you reach the bottom of the mountain…Fun. I mentioned in the last game that I found the game’s graphics blurry while in motion [which I’m now assuming is a very poorly done illusion of speed], well…Slalom is worse. This is because we are now throwing blindingly bright-colored flags into the mix here. That’s right, along with the overly bright mountainside background you now have to look at bright red and blue flags which signify the gates you need to ride through. The bottom line here is this plays like Downhill just with worse control [somehow]… and the need for copious headache aspirin (or sunglasses).
Ski Jumping K90/120
Next up is Ski Jumping! Now technically these are actually two events but for the sake for brevity, sanity and the fact that they are the same game [just with longer jump points], I will combine them both into one review. Here we go. The game starts with your player sitting on the ski chair…and sitting on the ski chair… and sitting on the ski chair… and sitting on the ski chair… and sitting on the ski chair… and HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR THIS TO START?! Holy crap, I could make and eat a sandwich in the time it takes for this to finally get going. Well guess what?! You need to press the A button to get the virtual embodiment of you to go. Why this isn’t listed in the directions on the intro screen I do not know, but there you go. I just saved you minutes of your life that you won’t get back [You owe me for this. LOL]. Anyways, now to…trip over myself and fall on the jump. Yeeeeeeeaaaaah, guess what else the “directions” don’t tell you…that’s right, you need to hold the control stick down while on the jump and then lift the stick up to jump. I’d like to briefly touch upon the fact that the directions [or lack thereof] for the game really stink, all they tell you is what each button does. I mean, yeah, I guess it gets you to read the manual more closely but what about those of us who bought just the cartridge with no manual for $2 at GameStop [back before they phased out older games]? Anyways, back on topic, once you launch off the jump you can adjust the angle you land with the control stick and continuously hit the A button to land without falling. Good luck doing this however as it is VERY easy to fall in this game as you may have noticed from my review here. Don’t worry though, if you don’t do so well the first time you get another chance to try again [and ultimately fail thanks to the game’s poor controls]. So there you have it, that’s the ski jumping game. It’s another mini-game with awkward, barely functional controls and very little instructions on how to play. What? What about the graphics you ask? Well, they do look better here because you aren’t moving as fast, but it’s still the same mountainous background as the downhill skiing game. You would have thought that Konami would have maybe added a little variation to the backgrounds but I guess not. Now onto the aerials!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH1D1pcQ7Og
…Not quite, but I like your taste in music. =D
What am I talking about? I’ll reveal it in part 3!
[Editor’s note: Yes, this is a shorter article. He thought ending it here would be “clever” and “funny” and “make a great hook for the next part”. Yeah right…]
[Another note from the editor: A System Of A Down song… yeah, that doesn’t date you at all, Daffy.]
RT Gomer Productions 