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Not for the kiddies!

I’m sure there are a number of you out there that enjoy a good sexy read in one form or another. Either through a well-written love scene in a novel, a smutty get together in a “romance” book or a tryst between two (or more!) of your favorite fictional characters in a fan fiction story you found on the internet. A good story, no matter where it’s from, is something that gets your motor running and takes you to a different place in your mind, letting your imagination run wild with the words that you read.

But, like sex and cooking, no one can do things just right like yourself. No one quite knows how to flip your switch and push your button like you do. And much like feeding and feeling yourself, it’s something that doesn’t just happen, you work at it until you get better at it. So if you have ever given thought to writing your own word porn, for an audience one or many, here are some tips from a professional to help in the process.

-Not everything you write needs to be complete to have worth.

Just like an artist’s doodle not everything you write is meant to be published. If you have an idea in your head, even if it doesn’t have a beginning or ending, write it down! Keep them handy because you never know when creativity or opportunity will lend a hand in expanding that little “doodle” of writing into a full-fledged story. In my personal experience, one of my books, Unconventional, started out as a single short story to blow off steam. I posted it on the old forum of this site and got some good reactions. Months later I took the idea of the story and expanded on it with more characters, more short stories, and an overall plot. Next thing you know I have 30,000 + words of an entire published book on my hands. A story or a book has to be built on something, no matter how small or incomplete it is to start.

-Don’t be afraid to leave your real life comfort zone. 

You like to do things a certain way, we all do. There are things you like to do and you like having done to you. But that doesn’t necessarily mean your character should. Writing what we know and have the most pleasurable experiences with is easy of course, but in terms of writing it can get kind of repetitive. Everyone is different and so should your characters. Even in writing stuff for yourself, shake things up a bit or you may fall into a creative rut and burn yourself out. A simple thing like visiting an adult toy website can add who new dimensions to your writing and give you more ideas that in real life you may not have the courage or incentive to do. I don’t know how many times in sex filled stories I wrote I’ve had characters having sex in public, restrained with ropes and chains, and then there was that story with the tentacles… *ahem* you get my drift, none of that stuff I’d ever do in real life (especially the tentacles) but wouldn’t hesitate to write a story about them. Hell, a story about a character being introduced to something new like this is a story in itself.

-It doesn’t have to be “realistic”.

I go to a lot of writing panels at Anime conventions, namely Otakon. More than once I’ve heard panelists, especially at fan fiction panels, complain that “real sex isn’t like porn” and tell people that their writing of sex scenes needs to be realistic as possible.

Bullshit.

When writing adult fiction whether it is to be published or not, you can be as realistic as possible with odd bodily functions, painful accidents, and wet spots, especially if it fits the context of the mood you are trying to set within an entire story. But just as easily you can make everything just as perfect as it is in porn, or even so wildly bizarre your readers may think you are taking the brown acid. That’s the fun of writing! Do what YOU want to do with it.  You’re writing a story, a fantasy, not a textbook (if you are writing a textbook this article may not be helpful then). A big part of writing fiction is to take the reader somewhere else, be it a “real” world or not.

-Ask around, but be polite about it!

This is kind of a tricky one. But it helps to hear stories from people about things you’ve never actually done. It adds a level of detail to your writing that you may not have had otherwise. If you know someone and are SURE they are comfortable talking about things like that, go ahead and ask. Go to a forum or website and read real experiences (or really good fake ones, you never know) from people and see if reading that experience sparks bits of creativity in you.  As a guy, there are a lot of things I will never really to experience, especially  in scenes I write about from the perspective of a woman (or more than one). Sometimes I ask around to those who don’t mind answering about those kinds of things. Sure different people have different experiences, but still it can be a big help in adding more to your story.

-Keep things in context.

What I mean here is don’t take your story all over the place with your words. Descriptive metaphors are great. They can really set a scene, but they can also look really silly and horrendous if you start using stuff that doesn’t match with what you are writing.  Don’t start using car metaphors if your story is set in ye olden pirate ship. “Plowing her like a Jackhammer on full speed” sounds really odd if your story is a samurai love tale. This like this can take a person out of the imagery and be a turn-off.

-Don’t publish stories using real people!

Unless you have expressed permission from the person you write about, save yourself the trouble and don’t write stories using real people. Writing adult fiction about real people without their consent tends to creep people out at best and getting you in a whole lot of trouble at worst. No one is stopping you from writing the story, not at all. But it is best to keep those kinds of stories to yourself unless specifically asked, trust me. I was young and stupid too.

-There is nothing wrong with writing about “yourself”.

The dreaded “Mary Sue”. You’ll hear a lot of that term in fan fiction writing circles. The idea that a writer puts themselves into the story as the main character and makes them “perfect” and can do no wrong. People will tell you to avoid it like the plague and that it is evil and terrible, and you are a horrible writer if you do.

“They” aren’t writing your story.

More specifically, if you are writing out your own fantasy and desires there is nothing wrong with you writing yourself into that. Even a “characterized” version of yourself with some “improvements” isn’t against the law. Especially if it’s something for you and yourself only. Even in a nonsexual context putting yourself in a story may be a form of escapism and therapy that doesn’t require medical insurance or doctor visits to do. Always had a fantasy of getting laid in a Gundam? Go for it! Have visions of being the center of a Survey squad Bukkake party? put some words down and run with it!

Have Fun! It seems simple really. But you should be writing because you enjoy it. Yes, money can be made and writing for a living can be stressful, but at the end of the day, you are doing this because it makes you happy and you enjoy it.

-Hands on the keyboard!

Keyboards are hard to clean, especially of bodily fluids. Not mention time you are spending with your hands elsewhere slows down your actually writing and takes forever to get anything written. I know it can be hard sometimes, but try to get some progress made before you start working off your tension.

Writing is as personal as any sexual feeling or experience. People may have their opinions and there likes, but ultimately writing should be about you and what you want to get out of it, no matter what is said. It’s a great creative outlet, a good way to inspire creativity in yourself, and a great way to unload your feelings in a private environment.

Keep writing!

You can see my published work HERE

You can see my work for Japanator HERE and Tomopop HERE

You can contact me on my Twitter HERE

and remember, I’m STILL a candidate for President of the United States in 2016!

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