Looking for the big card this year with a yawn.
Welp, this Sunday is the big one, Wrestlemania 33. Honestly, I have never been less hyped for a Mania… ever. When every website you follow tells you “THIS ISN’T FOR YOU” than its hard to get your hoped up about a big show. Knowing that a good chunk of those on the show won’t be there Monday night just makes it feel so hollow. But, pushing through depression and lack of excitement, I’ll try to make the best of it and enjoy what I can of the weekend.
Anyway, as I do every year. Here is my pick for who is going to win during the 6-hour event.
WWE Title: Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton: A midcard feud that became a main event by default. It would be great if Bray actually defended the belt, but that would be asking too much. Randy probably takes it to the boos of the entire crowd.
Universal Title: Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar: Brock couldn’t pull the Undertaker to a good match, so this doesn’t have a chance. It will last longer than a few minutes Goldberg’s matches have been, but it won’t be good. Lesnar wins the belt and then sits at home with it until Summerslam.
Intercontinental title: Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin: This could be a wild one. Honestly could go either way, but I think Baron takes it with some inventive cheating
US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens: This will be a fight and an enjoyable one. May just make match of the night if it is given any decent amount of time. Knowing Jericho is going out to sing again kinda makes this an easy bet, so Owens wins the title in a good one.
RAW Tag Title ladder match: Gallows/Anderson vs. Seamus/Cesaro vs. Enzo/Cass: The Ladder stipulation was added last night after RAW, and it will be an improvement. A ladder will make this match a lot of fun and hopefully lead to some crazy stuff to liven up an audience that might not be into things. Going on a limb and saying Enzo and Cass win the thing. Hopefully this lives up to being as fun as I hope.
RAW Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax: Elimination rules saved this match. A single fall would have killed it. This may be another fun one and with so many possibilities. Charlotte winning would be a safe bet, but I’m not going that way. I’ll take Sasha using a sneak attack on Bayley to win the final fall.
Smackdown Woman’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. “every woman on the roster”: Whatever this ends up being it has already been put on the pre-show so I’m not expecting much. Either way, Naomi wins the belt in a forgettable mess.
Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Austin Aries: Too bad this is set for the pre-show as well because this is going to be a good one, or at least has the promise of it if it doesn’t die from lack of time or commercials. This will get people talking the next night and I think Aries takes it in a crowd raiser.
Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns: Taker’s entrance will be good, but it will really depend on how healthy he is. Roman can’t carry a hurt Taker to a good match, but they will give it a hell of a try at least. Going Roman on this one.
No holds barred: Triple H vs. Seth Rollins: Lots of smoke a mirrors in this one to cover up the injury and the old. Samoa Joe gets involved, maybe even Mick Foley. Again, another mess of a match. Rollins wins.
Shane McMahon vs. A.J. Styles: Eh. I know what the WWE wants us to think, but then I remember Shane’s match from last year. This won’t be as good as the WWE wants us to think it will, but it will give us “moments” for the highlight reel. If Shane wins this one the WWE is going to have Hell to pay from EVERYONE.
John Cena/Nikki Bella vs. Miz/Maryse: Good lord are you serious? Just a lame set up for Cena to wrestle with his girlfriend and propose to her when the match is over. Piss break match of the night and that is that.
Andre The Giant memorial Battle Royal: Braun. Doesn’t matter who else shows up for this on the pre-show. Braun wins it no matter what.
Rounding it all up. This will be mediocre at best. Like last year’s show, it’s lasting impact will be minimal at best and by the time the next ppv is aired, it will be largely forgotten.
Wish I could be more chipper about it.
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