Here are three hilariously awkward sex stories from my past since I cannot think of anything else to write this week. Enjoy!

I had a twin sized bed when I lived with my parents in Argentina. The guy I was dating was not the graceful sort but I could work with what he had. I had been his first so sex was new and the best thing that had come into his life. After he finished, he pulled out and leaned back to sit. He ended up falling off the end of the bed. I sat up only to see his scrawny feet up in the air reeling from the sex.

One of my roommates in college was from the Philippines. We hated each other. She would get drunk every night and stumble into our room at 3am shouting and sorts. I had class early and she would scream at me if I made a sound in the morning. She never helped clean the bathroom and took up all the space in our mini-fridge with food that would go rotten. My bed was on side farthest away from the door by the window. I had already gone to bed. In she comes, drunken, and with a male companion. His name was Sebastian and he was from Germany. She and Sebastian were talking dirty in German. They did not know I spoke German and was wide awake listening to them going at it. It took about three minutes for Sebastian to finish. He zipped up his pants, told her “By the way, we’re breaking up”, and left. When I heard the door open, I said “Guten nacht, Sebastian” and giggled until I fell asleep. My roommate moved out soon after.

This is another story from college. My boyfriend and I were having a good dom session. He lived in a dorm with single rooms and loft beds which were good for standing binds. I yelled at him not to move since I had to piss. If he did, he would get a world of hurt. He yelled back “yes master!” When I turned around to go out the door and into the communal bathroom, there were three other boys standing there. They had heard everything and now saw me dressed in full dom gear and my boyfriend in only his boxers, tied to his bed. I flashed them a grin before going into the bathroom. My boyfriend later told me they had a good laugh about it but never let him live it down.

Do you have any funny stories about coitus?

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One response »

  1. Anonymous says:

    I once gave someone a blowjob. I bent down to spit it into the trash can, and it ended up in my hair.

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